Are You Happy? (or FAQ's, Round 2)

hey all,
I'm heading to Cambodia for a week to check out Angkor Wat, Phnom Penh and renew my Thai visa. Likely going with my friend E. who lives across the hall from me (a young high-femme lesbian playwright from NYC. we trade dresses and gossip. I love my life.) Anyways, so i thought i would do another little round of FAQ's—the ones my friends ask me when they call.

Are you happy?
yes, very. I have a fantastic life in Bangkok. The longer i'm here the more fun, easy and relaxed it gets. I would live and work here again in a heartbeat.

Friends?
Yeah, really great ones. I've developed a few intensely loving friendships actually.

Romance?
Mmm, not unless you call the occasional debauched hook up, “romance”. And I don’t. The eeriest thing? I kind of don’t care about sex right now. Last night a friend tried everything to talk me into have a threesome with this really cute thai guy but i was tired and indifferent (been there, done that) so i just offered to watch. Instead I have fallen in crazy friend-love with a few of the kindred spirits i’ve met here. I am seriously passionate about these friends. I’m totally psyched about getting a (romantic) crush again someday but it might be a long while and that’s cool.

How come you decided to stop in Bangkok? i thought you were gonna travel around more?
Because i wanted to work with Empower and because i kind of hate “Tourism”.

What do you do all day?
Essentially i'm learning and having fun while leading a fairly pampered life.
Let me explain: Bangkok has enormous wealth disparities. A maid in Bangkok gets paid about $100/month (and has no labour rights whatsoever including a minimum wage) but if you need a new Valentino gown, you can just head downtown to one of the many luxurious Bangkok malls.

It's precisely this (totally gross, unjust and unecessary) disparity which allows me to live a comfortable life on just my savings. The huge working class are the reason for $1 noodle soups and fifteen cent bus fare (like i ever take the bus anymore) and the wealthy are why i can get imported chocolate at my overpriced grocery store and exercise in a well-equipped three-floor gym.

Like many westerners, i take a class leap in Bangkok. Most travellers get queasy when a Thai person describes them as “rich”. Like me, many scrimped and saved while working more than one job to get here, but once we're in Thailand, we are among the upper middle class, and we get to live large by Thai standards. We can blow $5 like it's nothing—and that's likely 5% of the monthly salary of the woman who did your laundry.

So once i got a handle on how to get around, it became a pretty easy life. And here's what i did with it today: i worked out at my fancy gym, got groceries at the overpriced store that has a salad bar (!!), gossiped with E. about our escapades last night, tried running errands but got stuck in traffic that was so bad, i had to give up, bail out of the cab and take the skytrain back home so i could be here in time for a scheduled telephone interview with with a few women who work at Can-Do Bar. That's the sex work bar owned and run collectively by members of Empower. I'm writing an article about Empower and the Can-Do for $pread magazine.

Later tonight i'm going to meet up with my friend V. at the city's hippest gay bar, conveniently located a few streets down from me. If it's a typical Bangkok night, plans will change every 45 minutes, i'll meet new people, get drinks at the 7-11 to avoid high drink costs and have fun till i hit the sack at about 4 or 5am.
(post script: yep, that’s what happened. Plus gay karaoke, street-side noodles at 2 am and a threesome. Very Bangkok.)

I write everyday, see friends, run errands, do a bit of work, ask a lot of questions, eat thai food. Easy.

What's Bangkok like?
True story: Bangkok is the kind of place where a queer girl can be lying on a stretcher about to get a colonoscopy and have a beautiful nurse in a precisely starched cap quickly and furtively hit on her while the doctor is out.
Nurse: So why are you in Bangkok?
Friend on stretcher: Oh well, to meet people and...
Nurse: Oh? (leans in and touches her hair) You're very beautiful. Do you like thai boys or girls?
Friend: uh, what...i, the doctor...?
(doctor comes in. Nurse quickly straightens and changes subject)

Oh Bangkok, so lovably unpredictable! Messy, fun, chaotic, open-hearted, smoggy, delicious, steaming hot, cheap and free-wheeling. From limbless beggars to office workers crowding the ad-hoc noodle-stalls at lunch. From noisy bars full of “sexpats” to robed monks shopping for electronics. The vibe of thailand is evidenced by its most famous phrase: “my pen rai”. No worries.

The three omnipresent sacred cows: nation, monarchy and religion. Flags, His Majesty the King on every building, buddhist amulets around every neck. Oh, and don’t search for art that is critical or irreverant toward the buddhism or the monarchy. You won't find it—it's illegal.

Informally though, the twin bangkok obsessions are eating and shopping. It's actually kind of a nightmare to be surrounded by cheap cute shoes, none of which i can wear (they stop at size 9. i'm a 10.)

Finally, a word on safety. Theft is an issue for but physical safety is not. I walk at night with less fear than I would in TO. Homophobia isn't an issue either.

What next?
Here in Thailand till early June when i head to Brisbane Australia. Probably 3 months there.

When are you coming home?
oh yeah, that. Well, remember how i said i'd be back in 6-12 months? That’s not going to happen. Don't fret—i'm coming home at some point, but i love this life and it's a big world. I'm thinking i will probably return sometime in 2009. ish.
That's why i so encourage folks to come visit me because i won't be in your parts of the world for a while.

(And then i'm going on a road trip through the southern states, focused on the history of the civil rights movement. But that's another story.)

ok, that's all for now. Love you, miss you. i'll let you know what Angkor Wat is like and all about the now-privatized Killing Fields (ewwww).

xo
cg